I’m a screamer

I screamed at Lynley again today.

I do that a lot when I don’t get my way.

I think the more I try to be the perfect husband, the less perfect I become. Then I realize something. No matter what we do in life, we’re all gonna die.

And I just hope it’s me first. I don’t wanna live without someone to scream at.

 

road-rage

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LYNLEY BLOGS…NOT JUST JACK!!

WE’RE BACK BLOGGING!

Hello, We’re back! Jack and I have been busy the last 2 months: working part-time jobs, travelling to Colorado to visit Lynley’s daughter (& son in law) and John’s brother and his family.(See our YouTube channel: TwentyfoursevenMarriage for our travel vlogging, etc.) and enjoying the great outdoors with family, etc. Oh yeah! I clean our house, too.  Also we just finished creating a new website featuring Jack’s artistic designs on t-shirts. (Visit 1ofakindonline.com to order your specialty designed t-shirt just in time for the Holiday Season!)

WHAT WE HAVE BEEN UP TO!

Thanks for patiently waiting for us. We both have jobs at a locally owned grocery store. Jack works on truck days. One night a week,  Jack also stocks the shelves and checks for expired dates. Lynley works there also: as a cashier & checks for expired dates, too.

We also work together as banquet servers.

Our newest job is seasonal. We are  working on the Polar Express train through the Christmas season. Now, do you understand why we have been so busy?

LYNLEY’S GOING NATURAL!

Jack and I are eating healthier and getting rid of  (or limiting) sugars, glutens, in our bodies & in our home.(Watch our YouTube channel where I am throwing out all the junk food in our home.) Also I am getting rid of chemicals in our home. Pinterest and I have become great friends. I started making DIY:  Laundry Soap, toothpaste (using equal parts of baking soda & coconut oil and a few drops of water to make it paste like), body wash, dish-washing detergent and dish soap, and shampoo. Most of these recipes use Dr Bronner’s Castile Soap.  Castile Soap is wonderful. A little expensive but since you use it for all-natural cleaning, why not? I don’t have any essential oils, but because Dr. Bronner’s makes so many wonderful scents, I haven’t had to add essential oils to my natural products yet. (I have used Dr Bronner’s  Lavender and Tea Tree Castile Soap.) No need to add essential oils if Dr Bronner adds them to my Castile soap recipes and makes my cleaners smell so good! Right?

dr-bronners

VISITING INTERNATIONALLY!

Jack and I love spending time with International students that come to study at our local university. We have “adopted” several students through the International Friends program.

We have taught them to drive, play American games like: Uno, Dominoes, etc., shared meals with them at restaurants, their apartment or at our house.

We shared “A Traditional Thanksgiving Dinner” at one of the Student Centers gymnasium on campus this week and meet students from: Germany, Iceland, China, Switzerland, Mexico, South France, and many other countries; packed into the gym. So many international students and their host families; that they ran out of seating and turkey. But the food was delicious and we enjoyed learning about other cultures.

Some Chinese students and students from other countries are planning to visit our home for the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons.

FINDING THE END OF THIS POST!

Well, now that we have caught you up on our lives…tell us what you have been doing during the last few months. Comment below. Also check out the links and our YouTube channel; like, share,like-and-share comment, subscribe,subscribe, etc.

We  heart  you. We will try not to wait another couple of months to post.

Maybe once a week or more might be better.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

BY LYNLEY KROFTturkey                            nativity

NOTE: Links not related to sites Jack & I have created, are just suggestions; not where I recommend (or don’t recommend) you purchase or use the information. I have just linked them for ease of what products or other blogs, etc., I am referring to.

House Guest

By Jack Kroft

So this, uh, woman came over to visit Lynley and me tonight. Just out of the blue. We’ve associated with her casually with mutual friends at various gatherings over the past year or so.

She’s about our age, upper 40s, but talks like a teenager. She’s divorced and confused in general about male-female relationships.

“He’s not the hottest guy I’ve ever dated, but he’s cute…”

Blah blah blah.

Boring, gossipy girl crap. Lynley and I are used to adults talking. Hmmm. We’ve never been around a person our age who acted more immature than our children.

I am SO glad my lovely Lynley isn’t that type of woman. Gag!

Just sat on her phone the entire evening, staring at her mobile device like a lover. No eye contact with either of us. Lynley sat near her on the sofa, offering a tidbit here and there. “I’m checking into a healthier lifestyle,” Lynley offered.

“Uhmm.” Came the answer from Ms. Device Addict. No looking up from her phone.

boring

A long, eerie silence is broken by an offhanded giggle from our guest, still mesmerized by her cell phone screen. It’s literally affixed to her like an appendage. Her right thumb works the keyboard, pausing to scroll a screen as she navigates from social media to social media like Spiderman grasping from web to web through New York City.

“The Ozark Craft Festival is next weekend.” It’s Lynley again, trying to salvage any common ground. After all, Ms. Device Addict invited herself over after seeing us today at another area craft festival.

Not a word or a flicker of expression from Ms. Device Addict. The clock ticks by in agony.

This chick is single, and it’s no wonder. She’s got more boy drama than an eighth grader in Hollywood public schools.

Lynley takes a stab at a social media topic. “Do you Pinterest?”

Ms. Social Medialite bursts with sudden found enthusiasm. “Oh yes, I look up wedding dresses all the time on there.”

Keep scrolling, sister. It’ll be an eternity before you land a real man with your right thumb attached to a mobile device and the vernacular of a 14-year-old.

Sheesh!

I’m so thankful for my guy friends, who like to talk about life and reality and ideas and spirit and process and struggle and victory and goals and…

Ms. Device Addict is whispering again. I hate that. As if I can’t hear her benign verbage about another guy. She talks of men like they’re Hostess Ding Dongs. “Do I take the chocolate or the vanilla?”

From time to time, she flashes her screen toward Lynley with pictures of people we don’t know. She announces this girlfriend of this guy she used to date, and analyzes her with the scrutiny a girl gives her first face pimple, frowning in worry over how she may have left this beau in the lurch in order for him to shift his attention to another unworthy bimbo.

“I’m dog sitting,” she declares out of the blue. She’s on her second glass of red wine, drinking slowly. “I need to go check her and take her potty one more time. It’s going to be an hour before I get home.”

It’s 9:26 p.m. I’m at my laptop, typing this, thinking, “Please. Just. Go. Please. Just. Go.”

B-o-o-o-ring!

She’s so wrapped up in drama and who might be texting her and what some guy is doing with another woman, the list of ex’s is growing and there seems no relief from this Device Addict. She’s still freakin’ glued to her cell phone. Her wine glass is now in the other hand, but she’s not drinking it. Which means she has no intention of leaving yet.

9:30 p.m. I’m growing weary of the bizarre isolation. Lynley has slumped into device mode on her end of the sofa. It’s a two woman see saw of eerie silence spoiled by a sudden, awkward giggle from our guest and a story about some unfortunate person we don’t know. “My sister-in-laws cousin got pulled over yesterday.”

Blah. Blah. Blah!

I finally disappeared into the bedroom and crawled into bed with my clothes on and turned out the light. I can’t deal with this inanity insanity.

She finally excused herself and Lynley and I were left to pick up the pieces of our sabotaged evening, which, by the way, wasn’t a total wash. She bought two of my books.

Jack Kroft goes by another name, John Cockroft, when he authors books which are available on Amazon.com. He and Lynley are also featured at TwentyFourSevenMarriage on YouTube.

Defending Marriage

IT HAPPENED again today at work. A college aged female co-worker declared, “If you never get married, you’ll never get divorced.”

She posed the popular theme among young people that marriage is, well, too scary to risk. A high school aged female co-worker also confessed last night that “I know most girls dream of their wedding day. I never did. I don’t think I ever want to get married.”

Boys and girls, this anti-marriage vibe is becoming epidemic. And it seems the dissent is coming from the fear of failure. “My parents (grandparents, etc.) got divorced, so why bother getting married? After all, it’s just a piece of paper.”

Lynley and Jack Kroft are personally on the front lines to DEFEND the institution of MARRIAGE!

Here’s our two cents worth: Lynley was married for 23 plus years. The guy cheated on her. Several times. Then he divorced her, even though she insisted on working things out.

Jack’s wife got tired of his lies to her and even though Jack got help and overcame this issue, he also struggled floating from job to job. His wife bailed out, even though they had four young children ages 12, 10, 7 and 1. Like Lynley, Jack was 100 percent against the divorce. He even told the judge so, and was granted an extra time of 9 months to work things out, but his wife never conceded. She even filed a restraining order on him because he sent her a birthday wish a few days after their divorce was finalized. Ouch! Love Hurts.

So… all that to say, married life can be a bear. But, you have to bear the bear and be a bigger bear. And, a better bear.

There is no sense going into marriage with the “if it doesn’t work out, we can divorce” mindset. So, the young people fearing marriage are correct, in that regard. Don’t get married if you aren’t going to stay married.

But our deal is DON’T LIVE TOGETHER OR HAVE SEX when you aren’t married. So, stay celebate. Unless you are willing to get married.

The Bible is our source for this. And, it works. Jack and Lynley were virgins when they were first married to their original spouses. So were their parents (who are both still married after more than 50 years together per couple!)

Here are some other tidbits I’ve gleaned for a cool Web site:

   http://www.maritalhealing.com/conflicts/risksofcohabitation.php

  • Cohabitation presents a serious threat to the likelihood of later marital stability and happiness, as well as to the psychological health of children born into such unions.  Most young adults and their parents are unaware of the extensive literature on the dangers of cohabitation.  This article presents those serious risks to young adults and to children and to the society that is dependent upon stable, loving marriages and families.Family instability is on the rise for American children as a whole. This is mainly because more couples are having children in cohabiting unions, which are very unstable. A 2011 report indicated that children in cohabiting households are more likely to suffer from a range of emotional and social problems—drug use, depression, and dropping out of high school—compared to children in intact, married families,” (Why Marriage Matters, 2011).In the U.S., cohabitation, not divorce, now poses the biggest challenge to marriage. In 1960: 500,000 and in 2010: 7,529,000 couples cohabitate. More than 60% of marriages are now preceded by cohabitation (Wilcox et al. 2011.).A 2013 report on cohabitation from the National Center for Health Statistics was based on in-person interviews conducted between 2006 and 2010 with 12, 279 women, ages 15-44. It demonstrated:
    – as a first union, 48% of women cohabited with their male partner, up from 43% in 2002 and 34% in 1995;
    – 22 months was the median duration of first cohabitation, up from 20 months in 2002 and 13 months in 1995;
    -19% of women became pregnant and gave birth in the first year of a first premarital cohabitation and
    – 70% of women without a high school diploma cohabited as a first union, compared with 47% of those with a bachelor’s degree or higher.Roughly 40 percent of children now spend time in a cohabiting household. Twenty-one percent of children are born into cohabiting unions.

To sum up, don’t live together. Just, be like, boyfriend and girlfriend, and don’t have sex, until you are ready to say “I do” first.

Thanks for your comments below!

Jack and Lynley K

Toxic Topic

TOXINS PERMEATE our bodies. Why? Processed foods. Not enough sunshine and exercise. The toxins of life can catch up to our health.

Maybe you’re ready for a good flush of the old toxins. (It’s OK; it won’t ruin your fun!)

Even if you feel okie dokey,  but wanna check your toxin levels, I, Lynley, have a few suggestions ! I thumbed through a copy of Organic Life magazine at my local library today. On page 35 of the September/October 2016 edition, I paused on an article called “The Organic Detox.”

You can check it out for yourself, but here’s the gist: Studies show sweat contains traces of heavy metals (I had to explain to Jack that isn’t a reference to his ’80s long hair music!) I’m talking such bad boys as: Arsenic, Lead, and Mercury (kinda like Earth, Wind, and Fire with more of an after-burn!)

Jack wanted you to know he thinks Arsenic, Lead and Mercury could make the list of possible heavy metal band names.

I’ll leave Jack to his head banging and get back to the toxic topic…

Trust me, you don’t have to sweat the sweat stuff. No need to chill under the A/C 24/7 for for fear of perspiring. Your perspiration contains only TRACES of the metals. The best approach? Drink water. And then drink some more. A well-hydrated body during a workout (yes, I used the W word) can help you sweat out the bad stuff.Working out and sweating a couple times a week is actually a good thing, and can bring your toxins down to 1 or 2 percent.

What if you ignore the whole thing? Isn’t de-toxing the job of your kidneys, liver and lymph nodes? (A less appealing list when it comes to naming heavy metal bands, by the way!)

Yes, but like a dirty filter in the ducts of your home causes less efficiency, cluttering up your body with toxins slows the effectiveness of your hard working innards.

According to the article I read, you gotta eat the right stuff.

GO GREEN

When you eat the right stuff, your body fights off toxins like superman fights crime.

1 Cup baby spinach

1 tablespoon olive oil

Sprinkle with salt and garlic powder

Bake at 375-degrees F for 7-10 minutes

green-leafy-veggies

 

CITRUS BUSINESS

Nothing makes toxins quake in their little boots like Big, Bad Vitamin C… to the rescue! By the way, humans cannot produce Vitamin C on their own.

Add 9.3 mg of Vitamin C to a cup of hot water and the juice from half a lemon before bedtime.

citrus_1

TAKE A BREATH!

Practice controlled breathing morning and evening during your commute. It may even decrease road rage!

breatheroad-rage

 

 

Garlic, Water, Tea

WHEN JACK was on his honeymoon the first time (to the first wife) he flew Air New Zealand. During the long flight over the Pacific, the airline attendant, in her New Zealand accent, asked each passenger, “Coffee, tea, milk?” which sounded like KAWfee, Tea, Meeuk?

In this article, the final big three helpers to de-toxification are: Garlic, Water, and Tea.

GARLIC contains 39 agents to fight off fungi, bacteria, parasites, and viruses. One of two cloves of raw minced garlic per day should do it. If you want to have a social life without the odor, try the odorless variety in capsule form (garlic oil) from your health food store.

WATER 8-10 glasses per day. You’ll pee less as your body gets used to the proper dose. Kidneys have to have water to do their job. Not coffee. Not soda.

TEA time! Green, black, or oolong please. They come from the same plant. Note: withered and steamed leaves is much preferable to the pre packaged idea. A study revealed up to 80 percent increase in enzymes that defend against cancer and other toxins in those who ingest high levels of green tea.

 

 

 

 

Forgive and Remember

YOU’RE NO DOUBT familiar with  the phrase “forgive and forget” but I want to encourage you to “forgive and remember.” That is, forgive those who have offended and hurt you, and remember what it felt like to be offended and hurt, so that you don’t reciprocate the hostilities.

Here’s what I’m stewing around in my pea brain that triggered this blog entry. Someone close to me (a family member) refuses to forgive my son for a wrong he committed years ago against another family member.

Here’s a partial list of what the unforgiving party GAINED:

  1. Mistrust
  2. Avoidance at all family gatherings
  3. Assurance that the offense won’t occur again
  4. Lingering memories of the offense and fear that it may have residual effects

Here’s a partial list of what the unforgiving party LOST:

1. The opportunity to know a fantastic young man who has grown through this experience

2. The ability to go in public and to family gatherings unsure if my son will appear

3. The respect from me and my immediate family

4. The “oneness” and peace that comes from living a contented life

If you’re struggling with forgiving and forgetting, just remember: You can Forgive & Remember. You can Forgive and Remember that it hurts to be hurt. And you can Remember that if you Forgive, you won’t have to Remember how to avoid the offender anymore, and you can find out if they have changed or if you have changed, and grown from the experience, and you can have your peace of mind back.

I SOMETIMES STILL TRY TO TAKE  MATTERS INTO MY CAPABLE LITTLE HANDS…

AS A dad, I wanna take up my son’s cross and bear it for him. I wanna give the offended party the “what now”; the “low down smack-dabbity dog” and tell them what a waste of time it is to go around avoiding my son. I wanna tell them I had to forgive the TWO separate people on TWO separate occasions that acted out destructively on my son when he was little, which triggered his acting out on another family member. I want to say that if I were paralyzed by that, I could never move on. I want to say my son got legal help and paid his debt to society. I want to say the offended family member had a MUCH LONGER criminal record with many more offenses as an ADULT, not as a juvenile.

But, I prayed to God today about that, and all those facts and that high and mighty list of why my point of view is more justifiable was quietly dismissed by my Creator. I think God figures it won’t do my offended family member any real good, if I blow up with pride and arrogance and self-righteousity. God says to me, He says in his big, deep God voice, “Hey now, little follower of mine, just chill out a bit and let Me do the heart mending.”

So me, here I am, the grieving father of the wonderfully reformed offender of a young man, hoping to impart my wisdom on the Creator of the Universe, chest heaving with indignation, wanting God to take up my cause and restore my son to the family status he once had, and to help this grieving and alienated family member to “snap out of it” and move on, and I just say, “OK, Big Man Upstairs, OK, you got me. I got it. You got this. It’s beyond me to mend people’s hearts. But, thank God, it’s not beyond You.”

 

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Forgiveness Heals the Offended More than the Offender

In Romans 12:18 Paul said, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This means it takes two, and all we can do is make sure we’ve done our part. Forgiving one another is something we can do because Jesus first forgave us. People who haven’t experienced the Lord’s forgiveness often have a more difficult time forgiving others.

By sincerely seeking forgiveness, both from the Lord and the other party, you’ve fulfilled your responsibility in the matter. Now it’s time to turn it over to the Lord. Ask Him to forgive your family member, and to soften his or her heart toward Him. Receiving the Lord’s forgiveness might cause your family member to forgive you as well.