50 ways to keep your lover (apologies to Paul Simon)

You’ve likely heard Paul Simon’s hit song, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”
Well, we here at twentyfoursevenmarriage believe in something a little more invigorating… so, here’s our remake:

“The problem is all inside your head” she said to me
“The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to clearly see
There must be fifty ways to keep your lover”

She said, “It’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being lewd
There must be fifty ways to keep your lover
Fifty ways to keep your lover”

You just massage her back, Jack
Be a new man, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just make her the Queen
Drop all the fuss, Gus
You’ll need to discuss much
And drop all the lies, guys
To make her happy

Ooo massage her back, Jack
Become a new man, Stan
You don’t need to a bad boy, Roy
Just listen to me
Drop all the fuss, Gus
You’ll need to discuss much
Just listen to your Queen, Lee
And get yourself free

She said,”It grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again”
I said, “I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways to keep your lover

She said, “Why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light”
And then she kissed me and I realized she certainly was right
There must be fifty ways to keep your lover
Fifty ways to keep your lover

You just massage her back, Jack
Become a new man, Stan
You don’t need to be a bad boy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Drop all the fussIMG_6184.JPG, Gus
You’ll need to discuss much
Just make her your Queen, Lee
And get yourself free

Massage her back, Jack
Be a new man, Stan
You don’t need to be a bad boy, Roy
Just listen to your Queen
Drop all the fuss, Gus
You’ll need to discuss much
Just make her the Queen, Lee
And get yourself free

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